What does self-care mean?
What does self-care mean to you? When I was about 3 years old, I was playing with hot coals of fire. I heard my step-mother approaching and I knew I would be in big trouble if I didn’t do something about the situation. So I picked up the hot coals and stuck them in my pocket. I was actually dumb enough to think that I could put hot coals in my pocket without suffering any consequences.
As I have grown older, I have learned ways to hide the hot coals where they still burn but I can safely ignore them. I feel like this is true for a lot of people. We walk around looking totally fine but on the inside, we are empty, tired, and defeated. Why? I would suggest that maybe it’s because we let others tell us how to think about ourselves.
What exactly is self-care?
I used to think that self-care meant that I brushed my teeth, took a shower, ate good food, slept at least for 6 hours, etc. You know the list; it’s the normal stuff. As long as you look good on the outside you’re fine. Right? That’s what we think. We see people who look good on the outside and think they are perfect. Therefore, we try to look like them so we can put out the fire burning from within.
I am not saying that we shouldn’t take care of the outside. However, I think too many times we ignore what’s really going on on the inside. Instead, we focus way too much on the outside, and then it leaves us feeling very confused.
My idea of self-care has evolved over the years and I am still learning. I have learned that self-care is a lot of things and it also includes what I think about myself.
When we think of ourselves a certain way, it affects the way we interact with other people or the way we interpret our interactions with them. If I think I am ugly, I will feel ugly, and it won’t matter if someone else tells me I am beautiful. Nothing will change unless I decide that I am beautiful.
How do you view yourself?
This question, “What does self-care mean to you” has everything to do with how you view yourself. What kinds of words do you use to describe yourself? How do you speak to yourself?
There are so many things I believed about myself that I actually cringe when I think of them. For instance, I thought I was not a good looking person. Because I had this belief wedged up so deep inside my head, it affected how I responded to any guy who asked me out. These were actually good-looking men. Nevertheless, I did not go out with these guys because I was so convinced I would never be good enough for them.
This is just one example of how what we think about ourselves can harm us. If we are messed up on the inside (our heads), it will not matter how much make-up we wear or how well-dressed we are or how much weight we lose.
Even if you had the best skin out there yet for some reason you couldn’t believe it, you will lose so much time comparing yourself to other people and you will always come out short.
Now what? Isn't it too late for me?
You are probably right. It might be too late for you:) Of course, I am kidding! It’s never too late to make any change you want. Have you seen some of those 80 yr old men and women weight-training? Some of them started in their late 70s and in their 80s.
The reality is that it’s never too late to start thinking good things about yourself. Because no matter how long you have lived for, you will always have just now. There is never another time apart from now.
And just like any muscle, it takes consistent weight training for the muscle to grow. At first, it might seem foreign to start viewing yourself in a new light. Nonetheless, keep at it, it gets easier.
Before long, what people think about you won’t matter as much. Additionally, you won’t waste so much time comparing yourself to other people. Because you can never be them and try as they may, they can never be you.